Miscellaneous Funny Clean One Liners jokes

Miscellaneous Funny Clean One Liners jokes

When I die I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming in agony like the passengers in his car right before the accident.

 Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"

 A woman gets home, runs into her house, slams the door and shouts, "Honey, I won the lottery, pack your bags!!"
The husband says, "Wow! That's great! Should I pack for the ocean or the mountains!"
She says, "I don't care. Just get out of my house."

 How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?... A bucc-a-neer.

(Sent in by Craig Jillson)

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