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A lady brings her lifeless old dog to the Vet.  and tells him she thinks her dog is dead. The Vet says hmmm! lets take a look here. So he goes and gets a cat and runs it over the dogs neck, with no response. Then he runs the cat down to the dogs tail with no response yet, he places the cat nose to nose with the dog and stll nothing, and then announces to her that the dog is truely dead. The lady says he was up there in age and thanks the Vet. and asks how much do i owe you? The Vet says $320.00 dollars. The lady crys, $320.00? for What you didn't do anything? So the Vets say, well $20.00 dollars for the office visit and $300.00 dollars for the Cat Scan. (Sent in by Lloyd Eszlinger)

 A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts. " She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he finished it, he said, "Quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna start." This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer. When it was gone he said, "Quick, another beer before it starts."
"That's it!" She blows her top! "You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, don't even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave. Don't you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?"
The husband sighed, "Damn, it started..." (Sent in by Steve Weaver)

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