Best Funny Miscellaneous Jokes In English

Huge Collection of Miscellaneous Jokes Including Doctor Jokes, Lawyer Jokes

A preacher went on his calls by first visiting an elderly lady.
As he was sitting on the couch talking to her, he noticed a bowl of peanuts on the table in front of him. "Do you mind if I have a few peanuts?" he asked the lady.

"Why no, Pastor.  Go ahead and help yourself".

After about an hour, the preacher got up to leave and noticed that he had eaten almost all of the peanuts in the bowl. "I apologize", he said to the elderly lady. "I only meant to eat a few".

"Oh, don't worry about it," she said. "Since I've lost all my teeth, all I've been able to do is suck the chocolate off of them."

 A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde all work in the same office with the same female boss.  Every day, they noticed the boss left work early. One day, the girls decided that when the boss left, they'd be right behind her. After all, she never called or came back, so how was she to know?
   The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening and went to bed early.
   The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at her spa before meeting a dinner date.
   The blonde was happy to be home, but when she got to her bedroom, she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly, quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with HER BOSS!!! Ever so gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house.
The next day, at coffee break, the brunette and redhead mentioned leaving early again, and asked the blonde if she was with them. "NO WAY," she exclaimed,  "I almost got caught yesterday!"

 What's the difference between a Northern story and a Southern story?

A northern story begins, "Once upon a time...."
A Southern Story begins, "Ya'll ain't gonna believe this shit !"

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