british humour joke : today's best joke, english joke of the day

british humour joke : today's best joke, english joke of the day


british humour joke


Right and Wrong


Mrs Cameron, a primary teacher, was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong.

"All right children, let's take an example," Mrs Cameron said. "If I were to get into a man's pocket and take his wallet with all his money, what would I be?"

Little Tony raises his hand, and with a confident smile says, "You'd be his wife."



Classic, Short English JokesFunny English Joke - Window


Britain has invented a new missile. It's called the civil servant - it doesn't work and it can't be fired.

What do you call an Englishman with an IQ of 50?  Colonel, sir.

They say an Englishman laughs three times at a joke. The first time when everybody gets it, the second a week later when he thinks he gets it, the third time a month later when somebody explains it to him.

An Englishman went into a hardware store and asked to buy a sink.

'Would you like one with a plug?' asked the assistant.
'Don't tell me they've gone electric,' said the Englishman.

british humour joke


Funny English Jokes from Yorkshire


Stanley decided to lookup his friend Alf, who was a tight-fisted Yorkshireman.  He found Alf at his bungalow in Huddersfield stripping the wallpaper from the dining room.  Rather obviously, he remarked, "You're decorating, I see."  To which Alf replied, "Nay Stanley lad, I'm moving 'ouse to Bradford."
At an antiques auction in Leeds, England a wealthy American announced that he had lost his wallet containing £5,000, and he would give a reward of £50 to the person who found it.  From the back of the hall a Yorkshire voice shouted, "I'll give £100!"

british humour joke

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The Problem with Speaking English


Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.



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